Today I would have been 38 weeks pregnant!

Well, it's a weird sensation so know that I would have been 38 weeks pregnant and much larger then I was when I delivered Lilly. She would have been considered full term and been (as most of my friends predicted) over 7 lbs for sure. Glad I did not have to push out, 5lb 9 oz was plenty for me. Yesterday Lilly got her first "real" bath in the tub in the kitchen sink. She liked it, I think, at least she did not cry while she was in the water. But let me tell you what happen before the bath....first Lilly kept eating past her full point and spit-up all over me, then we (my mom and I ) were getting her ready for a bath by taking her diaper off...and whamo.....projectile poopie all over my mom, and the floor....what a day for the little baby. She recovered very nicely after her bath. Then it was a big night....she slept from 12am to 4am STRAIGHT.....I have not slept 4 hours straight since 3/30/08...what a treat. I am not going to get use to the idea because I doubt it will happen again.

Bobby is finishing up his training in Missouri for the Army dive program. He had training for the past two weeks to get him ready for the testing to enter the program. During training he was able to do everything within the times given....now he just has to put on his game face and pass the testing phase. Send him some "brave" vibes!!

I'm 3 weeks old AND Fabulous!!

Lilly turned 3 weeks old yesterday and I now feel comfortable enough with her to dress her up like the fabulous little girl she is!! We had a photo session in a dress that was mine (yes my mom saves everything cute) at my folks house on Friday. Then when Fitz was out getting his new tractor and mowing the lawn on Saturday, Lilly and I had another photo session in a dress from a neighbor sized for preemies. I think it fit her pretty well, all considering. We are trying to find her the perfect outfit for her baby shower next weekend. My mom got her a cute blue and white polka dot dress size newborn, but I'm afraid it will be too big. But we will keep trying on outfits all week to find the best one. This afternoon we are heading to Emerald Isle to visit with our friends Meg&Nate and their kids, and Gavin. Fitz is hoping to surf some, and I would just like to enjoy the beautiful weather that we are having. It's in the 80's and sunny with a very light breeze.....just perfection!!!

Sleeping like a baby....at least during the day!!

Well, Lilly is still a good sleeper, during the day that is. We still need to work with her on understanding that day time is when you need to be awake and night time is when you need to sleep. She is just not aware of the way it works out here in the "real world." She is gaining weight each day and I think it is all in her cheeks, but she is still the cutest baby I have ever seen (not that I am biased or anything).

In other news, Fitz bought a 52 inch or 54 inch lawn tractor the other day from Sears. He is very excited for it to come in on Saturday so he can mow the lawn. Two of the other guys in the neighborhood have lawn tractors and I think Fitz was feeling left out by us not having one. Plus it does take a good 2-3 hours to mow our lawn, even with our spiffy self-propel mower. I am just glad that he is so excited that I might not have to mow the lawn for a little while. I on the other hand have been trying to get organized with all the "clutter" that I tend to keep. I have been meaning to put a scrap book together of my Hawaii Ironman (since 2006 I have been meaning to do this) and I started going through the box today. Well let me tell you, I have saved anything that came from our Hawaii trip including the stub from Hertz car rentals for our car in Oahu. All I managed to do with the box of memories was move it to a smaller box. I am just not feeling motivated to gather all the Hawaii memories and put them in a book, yet. Hopefully, that will come sometime soon. I think my lack of motivation comes from being in such a different place in my life, I just can't imagine doing all of that training again, and trying to push myself that hard. I am hoping that by 2010 (when I'm planning my next ironman) I will being back in that "kill mode."

Fitz left for GA today, but "accidentally" missed his flight. In the hussle and bussle that is our lives right now, he thought his flight was at 4pm, so at 2:25pm when he was trying to check in online, he discovered he was actually booked on the 2:35pm flight. Oh, well! The travel department told him to head on to the airport and just say he got a flat tire on his way and they should book him on the later flight. I suppose we both need to work on organization. I am hoping to head to my folks house this afternoon and then go for a short run. Yesterday, I managed 25 min of running without too much trouble, so we will see what today brings. I am so lucky that my folks are so close and my Mom does not mind watching Lilly while I workout. We still need to work on my Dad being the "grand-dad" type, but I have faith in him.

Trying to be artsie-fartsie....success?!

I was trying to use my artistic side and get some photos of Lilly, I think we need a better camera with faster shudder speed to get some really good photos. Today Lilly had to go to the doctor again, she had some gunk in her one eye and we just wanted to make sure it was "normal." Her Grandma Fitzula got a special treat and was able to accompany Fitz to the doctors for Lilly's check-up. Her eye checked out just fine, and she gained another 4 oz since 4/18.

We had a good visit with the Fitzula's, and they were very happy to meet Lilly while she is still small. Lots of photos were taken, but still does not meet the number of photos that exist of Lilly's cousin Julia. I'm sure Lilly will catch up soon. :)

We did it.....over the 5lb mark!!

Lilly had her 2 week check up today at the doctors, and she is up 4.5 ounces; putting her at an even 5lb 4 oz, and a whopping 18.5 inches long. Gosh, she's growing so fast!! She got a clean bill of health and as long as she has a positive weight gain on Monday the 28th, she does not have to go back until her 2 month checkup. Whoo-hoo!! I am just so happy that she is up in her weight. She is starting to really be awake and want to be entertained, but her favorite time is from 2-4am or 4-6am. It's rough to get going that early, but I am hoping we can start to switch her to more regular hours of awakeness soon. Hopefully, soon she will fit into all the adorable clothes in the Newborn size (starts at 6 lbs).

It is a beautiful day here today, so we might go for a walk this afternoon with the Commadore, and try out the BOB utility stroller with the car seat adaptor.

Last night I got to escape the roll of "mom" and go to a spin class at the gym, leaving Lilly with my mom. Boy, it does not take long to loss fitness. I guess it has been over 3 weeks since I worked out for real. But it will come back. Then this morning my dad and I attempted to "run." All parts down there are not quite ready to run yet, but at least I know I can still make forward progress. Can't wait to really start feeling like myself again!!

Mom and Lilly!!

We did alittle photo shoot the other day trying to get a cute Mom and Lilly photo. I think we need a quicker shutter camera or something like that because Lilly would make some cute faces but by the time we clicked the camera she had changed her face. I am hoping to get some professional photos soon, of the whole family, and I want some NAKED baby photos. I don't know why, but I always said when I had a child, I wanted to have photos of them naked. Oh, well! On to another day of being on call to a 13 day old baby. But tonight I am hoping to try a spin class at the gym, barring that it works in to Lilly's feeding schedule.

Our Fish Came In!!

For Fitz's 30th birthday i ordered him a fish made from a broken surf board made by a local artist, Craig Gurganus out of Beaufort. Fitz got to pick the design and then Craig had free reign to let his creativity flow. Fitz wanted a 3 ft sail fish, and that's what he got. We are do excited to be able to support local artists and decorate our place like no one elses!!! Also, we found a fish for Lilly's room. It's pink-ish, of course!! I don't think she finds it that great, but then again I don't think she can see colors yet either! We can't wait to get the nursery really put together and show it off. So far, I am spending most of my time, feeding, trying to sleep, and keep the house in order. Soon Lilly will be old enough to go out on adventures and we will start going places!! Oh, the places we'll go!!

I'm in love with my daughter!

Just wanted to share this cute photo of Lilly. She is starting to be more active and actually stay awake for a while so I can snap some photos of her eyes.

A Sad Day at the Fitzula's

Yesterday was a very sad day at our house, we had to take Sophie back to the Great Dane Rescue of North Carolina. It was a very tough decision for us, and for anyone who knows us; we have kept that dog through so much. Most people would have returned her after the first weekend when I was walking her and she attacked a beagle. The beagle was fine, but we should have taken a hint. Somehow this dog tugged on our heart strings and we kept her through lots of "incidents" and her lack liking other people. She had her favorites; my Mom, Dustin, Clayton, and that might be it. But she just just found her way in to a special place in our lives and we just could not let her go. However, once Lilly came into the world unexpectedly and we did not have time to adjust Sophie to the idea of sharing her home with a little crying being, things got interesting. We found that Sophie did not like the baby crying at all, the best we can equate it to is a drug addict on meth. She just went bizerk and when a 155lb dog goes bizerk there is not much that anyone can do to stop her. So the call went out to the GDR, and they agreed that she needing to be returned to avoid any "incidents" with the Lilly. Bring us to yesterday, in which Fitz drove to near Charlotte, NC (an 10 hour drive round trip) with only Sophie to bring her back during an open house at the rescue. We can only hope that the right family is out there for Sophie and they will find her as big a part of their family as she was ours. So, if anyone is looking for a slightly crazy Harlequin great dane with a huge heart, let me know and I can point you in her direction.

In other news, Fitz had to go back to work today; flying up the Ohio. He made sure to take like 20 pictures of Lilly along to show her off to everyone at his sites. What a proud Papa he is!!! Lilly is starting to be more alert and we are able to get photos of her with her eyes open. She has decided that she like to be awake and alert from 2-4am. Making night time sleep hard to come by. At least I can nap during the day. And thanks to my bestest buds (Katie and Megan who came down for a visit this weekend) there is not much house work to be done so I can spend my time trying to take cute photos of Lilly to put in a scrapbook that I am making (thanks Beth and Jen) and napping.

Guess I can take down the Ticker Count Down?!

Well, since the ticker is no longer counting down to my due date, I guess I can take it off the blog. I have become slightly attached to the ticker...with the dragonfly moving over the lily pads. Currently, Lilly is sleeping peacefully in the sunshine part of the house to try and help with her jaundice. Fitz and I have enjoyed spending the past week getting to know our baby girl, but next week is back to work for him. He had to travel on Monday and Tuesday and then he heads up to Raleigh for a training session at PPD. Hopefully, he will be able to get his work done with Lilly in the house, he has become very attached to her and I think he now understands the whole "Daddy's Little Girl" thing that all Dad's feel.

My Nemesis....the dreaded baby scale!!!!

We are still waiting for Lilly to gain some weight, and at the doctors today....she was still at 4 lb, 15 oz. So we have to go in on Saturday morning for another weight in, I am starting to think that she will be this size forever. In hopes of helping the doctors gave me formula to try 2x/day and see if we can beef her up, but what I don't think they understand is....I am making PLENTY of milk, she just refuses to drink sometimes. And we tried a bottle with some b.milk in it and she does not want that either. I am not sure if Lilly realized when she come out she would have to eat on her own and not be fed via umbilical cord. Oh, well her mistake. For now we are going to try the wait until she wakes up herself and then feed. It does not seem to do anyone any good to try to wake up and force her to eat. When she is really hungry she eats great, so I'm not sure what else I can do.

On a different note, my folks are heading out to the "show me state" of Missouri to visit with Bob-O this weekend. I have been frantically loading songs, photos, and maybe a movie or two on to his new Ipod (it has like 160GB). I hope he will appreciate all of the work that was put in to getting everything loaded, in spite of what life has thrown my way.

Holding strong at 4 lb 15 oz!!

Yesterday we had no additional weight-loss at the doctors appointment, now we just hope that on Thursday when we go back to the doctors we have a weight gain. Lilly is becoming more alert, we think she is finally recovering from the whole birthing process and catching up on her sleep!! She still such a great sleeper, we hear that this will change soon, but so far we are enjoying the full 3 hours between feedings.

Trying to pork her up!!

Lilly was given the clear to come home on Sunday with strict rules to fatten her up. We are doing our best and hope to see results soon!! Our friend-neighbors, along with my family have been making sure we don't starve (what great people live in Carteret County), and things are starting to fall into place. The photos seen on this post are of Lilly in her coming home outfit with froggies on the foot, chest, and hat (it's alittle too big), then the proud parents totting the little one home in her car seat, then Lilly laying among her flowers and well wishes, next Lilly and her lily, and finally Dad and daughter taking one of the few naps when we decided to hold her for a while instead of letting her sleep in her crib! We have another doctors check up tomorrow afternoon, and we are hoping that she will be at or above 5lbs!! Send Lilly fat vibes!

It's been a very long week!!

Oh, gosh where to start with what's been going on since Monday. After I posted the blog update from the shower, I called in to the doctors office to just go in and have things checked out due to some leakage. Well they had me come in right away and turns out I was in labor (contractions and all) and I was 2cm dilated. At under 34 weeks this means an immediate trip to the hospital, do not pass go, do not get your toothbrush. So Monday at 1pm, I was admitted to Labor and Delivery and started on IV fluids to try and stop the contractions and therefore labor. Then I was given a does of steroids to try and mature her lungs as quickly as possible. When the regular fluids did not seem to be working I was put on Magnesium Sulfate (also known as epsom salt). This is some wicked stuff, it is used to stop seizures so it really makes you feel crappy (I used the term ass). You get very flushed and hot, with a searing headache, blurred vision, and you have to be on permanent bed rest so using a bed pan became my new talent. This part of the treatment lasted for 48 hours (until 3pm on Wed) to give the steroid the most time to be effective. This meant a liquid diet, blood draws every 6 hours through out the day and night, and very little sleep. On Tuesday I had an ultrasound to determine her size, and see what she was doing in there. At the time she was estimated at 5lb 2 oz, and acting just perfect inside; practicing breathing, and swallowing fluid. Did I mention that Fitz was at a site visit in Regina, Canada?! Luckily, my folks are real troopers and they stated with me around the clock; even learning the bed pan routine very well. Thank goodness I was back in MHC.

The Mag managed to stop my cervical progression and hold me at a steady 2cm, 90% effaced, and -1 station. So all good news; until around 11pm Wed evening when the contractions started again. I still was not making any progress towards labor, but it seems as if the little one was hell bent on coming in to the world. Each day brought new challenges and a different doctor with a different "game plan" for me. Some indicated that they just wanted me to make it to 34 weeks (Wed) others thought I might be going home on very strict bed rest, others wanted to ship me to Pitt Memorial hospital via helicopter in Greenville NC, and still others thought I just might need to go back on Mag to stop the labor. Thursday started with a new IV being put in my hand to start Mag at noon. I got 2 doses of tribotaline (another drug used to stop labor and contractions), this worked mostly all day so that was good. And I even got to get up and use the bathroom alone (it's the little things in life). So Fitz and I hunkered down for the night around 11:30pm. This was quickly followed by and very meek "uh-oh!" from my hospital bed as I now lay in a puddle. It was the feeling like a balloon popped from the inside and there was no stopping the flow. Fitz jumped up and I rang for the nurse to come in just as the contractions really started to be tough.

The doctor on call came in, checked me and said "well looks like your going to be a Mommy." As the minutes passed my perfectly planned all natural birth began slipping out of the window; the pain was very intense so I just could not imagine going on for hours like this. Since my water had broken I was not allowed to stand up and walk around to ease the discomfort; nor could I use the whirl pool tub for the pain. So I decided to call for an epidural, and hopefully calm my aching body (just as a reminder I have now been in the hospital for nearly 4 days with minimal food, privacy, sleep ect-I was just basically drained on all levels). The doctor came in and checked again and I was progressing fast, but they called the anesthesiologist on call and he was there within 15 min. To my dismay; when I was checked again prior to the epidural; I was 9cm, 100% effaced, and at -2 station. She was basically ready to come on out. No time for drugs of any kind, just had to let my body work it's magic. So after 30 or so minutes of pushing, it was all over. Lilliana Kolina Fitzula had been born at 1:43am on 4/4/08. She was a whopping 5lb 9 oz, and nearly 18 inches long (very tiny), and boy did she have a set of lungs on her. I think the steroids really helped with that. So I remained on the table sans drugs getting stitched up with my Mom by my side (Fitz had gone with the baby). The doctor indicated that all was well with me and the baby they were just getting her warm and keeping a close eye on her vitals. At 3am I got to go and see the little one all hooked up to monitors, but doing just great and then it was time to try and rest.

Since I had been in the hospital for such along time, the nurses and I had a repertoire that was a little more then just caregiver and patient. So when asked what was more painful the Ironman or child birth...hands down this child birth wins. I was really pushing with all of my might and managed to pop blood vessels in my face and neck (luckily they just look like freckles on me). Also my upper body is very sore now, it seems that I was really lifting my body off the bed to ease the pain. As of now; Lilly is doing great for a preemie; she has lost a little more weight then the pediatrician would like (she's down about 7%), and she has a case of the "tomato" jaundice, but so do nearly 80% of preemies so it's nothing to be too concerned about. She will not be released home today, but hopefully tomorrow or the next day. I am waiting for my final evaluation and hopefully get my discharge papers. They have a very cool program here at CGH where if the mother is discharged and is breast feeding, but the baby has to stay they allow you to keep a room at no charge and still get fed by the hospital. This would allow to leave the hospital and get somethings done, but still stay over night here and be there to feed.

We want to thank everyone for their thoughts, prayers, flowers and gifts since Monday; it has been an interesting time for our little family and your well wishes are irreplaceable and helped us through the whole process. Come visit us when possible and thanks for everything. All the best to you and yours. More pictures will be posted as we find time to take them and up load them.